Finding My Soul In You
by raindropcatcher
Summary: Separated through war, Anne and Gilbert had lost each other for two years. Now they are together at last, needing each other maybe more than ever. This is their first night alone after their reunion. The revivification of their unbreakable love.


**AN:** I've never been fond of the 3rd movie per se (due to more than one reason), but I love the display of Anne and Gil's relationship and bond in there. All the more I found that their reunion ended far too abruptly, considering what they went through during those two years. I always felt like something big was missing, and found it very unfair to their love and their story.

Ever since this moment had always been somewhere in my mind, but it took me some time to gather the courage to actually write it, and some more to finally publish it.

So, if you felt like it all ended too soon and incomplete as well, then I hope this story will be able to fill the gap.

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**Finding My Soul in You**

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**_Bele amie, si est de nus:_**

**_Ne vus sanz mei, ne mei sanz vus._**

_Marie de France_

* * *

„I was able to buy us some things", Anne closed the wooden door behind her, carrying some clothes and other necessaries in her hands.

"Good", Gilbert forced a smile as he tore his gaze off the porthole and the view it was revealing.

She put the purchased things down on the table and reached a white garment out to him.

"I bought us nightshirts."

_Great_, he thought. He didn't know how he should lie next to Anne without touching her, but she bought them nightshirts. At least _one_ problem was solved…

Gilbert had the urge to roll his eyes. Not that he was an impatient or even sardonic man by nature, but that certainly didn't mean that he didn't carry any feelings and desires inside of him.

They had one night together. One single, short night. After fourteen painful long years of struggling to make Anne finally his.

And then - just as he knew how it was to melt into one with her _at last - _they have been gruesomely ripped apart for agonizing two years. Even longer than two years.

_Of course_ Gilbert had missed her.

Every day.

Every night.

_How_ he had longed to hear her voice.

See her smile.

Feel her touches.

There had been nights where the memory of her touches and how soft her skin felt under his fingertips had haunted him _so _mercilessly that he couldn't get a wink of sleep.

He _always_ carried her inside his heart. Wherever he went, whatever cruelty witnessed, there was this light inside of him, keeping him warm and giving him hope.

Letting Gilbert know there was still a reason why he had to hold on.

That he had to stay strong so he could return to Anne.

_And then it suddenly happened._

Amidst darkness and war, her voice had reached him.

First his heart; thinking he was only dreaming it, like he used to dream of her so many times.

Slowly slowly Gilbert dared to hope and lifted his head. Not only hope had been rising within him, but also fear.

Fear of the pain a shattered dream would cause.

In spite of it all he started walking towards that voice. _Stumbled more than walked_. He felt as if in a haze. As if an invisible bond would pull him towards her.

And then his eyes perceived her. The most beautiful sight he would ever witness in his life.

The string on his heart tugged hers and their eyes met, with hundreds of people separating them.

Tears were rising, unbelievingly laughter escaping, and then she finally stormed down the stairs, pushed dozens of strangers aside to find her way to him.

Gilbert wasn't able to do anything but stay as if rooted to the spot, and watch her with disbelief and awe.

His mind wouldn't let him believe that she was real. That she was flesh and blood. Not just a mirage.

Until Anne threw her arms around him and Gilbert suddenly knew he was home.

_Because Anne was home._

They kissed over and over again, both needing the touches as proof that the other one truly existed.

And now here he stood. In the middle of their cabin, travelling the Atlantic Ocean.

_So close to her, and yet so very far away from where he wanted to be._

Gilbert wanted to do nothing but hold her close. _Closer than close_. He wanted her to be so close that one couldn't distinguish where one body ended and the other began.

He needed her for being able to mend. He needed her in every sense of the word.

But he knew he couldn't put her under any pressure. The man that had helped them finding each other had just been killed. How should there be space for anything but grief in Anne's heart?

No, for tonight he had to be satisfied with simply having her in his arms after all those months. No matter how impossible that seemed to be at this very moment.

Gilbert turned around and watched the reflection of the moon slowly waving up and down on the dark sea, while he undid the first buttons on his army shirt. He couldn't wait to get out of this uniform. It had been witness of far too much savagery and death. It felt like a prison to his skin.

All at once two hands gingerly slid down to his collar from behind, searching obviously the next buttons.

"Why don't you let me do that?" Anne whispered, her warm breath tickling the sensitive skin under his ear.

Gilbert sucked in his breath and caught both her hands in his to stop her actions.

"What?" She asked in her innocent and unknowing voice as only Anne was able in such a situation.

Gilbert closed his eyes for a brief second before turning around to face her, "Don't…"

"Why not?" Anne looked confused at him. Why shouldn't she show him her affection?

"Anne…" He sighed with a hint of irritation in his voice, "This has been a very long day. Something terrible happened. I know how sad you are. So please, let's just change and then go to bed."

He lifted both her hands up and kissed her fair knuckles. "Once I would start… I know I couldn't stop."

It wasn't until then that Anne realized he had thought of her as forbidden territory. That Gilbert assumed she didn't want him the way he did.

She removed her hands out of his hold and ran them gently through his dark hair.

"Why would I want you to stop?" She asked in a whisper, her gaze brushing his lips.

_Why did she have to make this so hard on him? Why did she always have to test his boundaries?_

"Because Jack was being shot dead just hours ago, and you need a chance to process all of this, and time for your mourning."

Anne placed her fingers gently on his lips, her green-grey eyes capturing his hazel ones.

"Don't tell me what I need, Gilbert Blythe. I always knew that quite well myself."

Slowly she removed her hand, brushing his lips all her way down, sending shivers down his spine.

Before he could object once more, she pressed her lips yearningly against his, bringing her hands up around his neck so he wouldn't even think of escaping her once again.

Anne was not about to ever let him go again.

Gilbert moaned as the last wall he'd built up around him broke down. He put both his arms around her back to draw Anne into him and tilted his head so he could deepen the kiss. The sensation of her much longed-for body pressed against his caused the blood in his veins to boil, and he knew he was far too close to losing his resistance for good.

Their tongues met in a fierce dance, evoking groans from their throats. Gilbert was hardly aware of her hands which slowly travelled down to his shirt again searching a way to open it, far too occupied with teasing her lips and exploring her mouth.

Loosening one button after another out of their hold, Anne's fingers skilfully made their way lower and lower. As she reached his belt, she yanked the fabric out of his trousers.

Gilbert inhaled sharply and hesitated one moment before breaking the kiss.

Confused and flustered she looked at him, her dilated pupils searching for an answer in his dark eyes.

"Be sure… " Both were breathing heavily and he needed a few seconds to catch his breath and steady his husky voice, "that you do this for the right reasons, Anne."

Completely bewildered she didn't know what to reply. Was there a _wrong_ reason why she would want to be close to her husband? What did he mean? And why was Gilbert suddenly so hesitantly towards her?

"You lost Jack and…" He trailed off, the words coming harder from his lips than he had expected them to.

He wasn't blind. He _had _seen the looks this man has given his wife. And they _haven't_ been sheer sympathy.

"…I know you're hurt."

He didn't need to say more. She understood. Just as they always understood each other. Even back then when they still used to go to school and be rivals for the first place.

_Kindred spirits they were, and always would be._

Anne lifted her hands up to his cheeks to cup his beloved face in her palms, caressing it with her thumbs. She wanted him to look her in the eyes. He should know that her words came straight from her heart. From her very soul.

"Yes, I _am_ hurt.

Just as I was hurt when I learned that we lost Moody and Charlie… Just as I would be hurt about every loss of a soul I knew. No one deserves this end.

But the truth is, Gil - and I should be ashamed of it, but I can't be - that right now… I'm not feeling any pain, or any sadness. I can't force myself to think of all the people we lost, when the _one man_ I was _so _afraid to lose, is right here in my arms."

Her voice cracked and the first tear crawled down her rosy-tinted cheek, but nothing could break Anne's determination of saying those words.

"I've never known my parents, Gil. It was in Avonlea where I found my first family… I lost Matthew all those years ago. And now I lost Marilla as well.

You are the only family I have, Gil."

She fought hard to control her trembling voice, "_You_ are the one I followed. Not Jack, or Charlie, or Moody.

If the world would come to an end, all I would want – as selfish as it may be – is to have _you_ by my side.

_You_ are my family, Gil. _You_ are my heart, my soul, my only love."

Anne removed one hand from his cheek to take his and kissed his palm.

"If I would have lost you…" Tears were streaming down her face by now as she tried to smile, "I don't know if I could have gone on…"

He looked at her, too overwhelmed with love to say anything, as a tear was escaping his hazel eyes as well. He wanted to say _so _much.

That she was his life too. And that _that_ was the reason why he survived. Because their love was stronger than any war could ever be. And he could never leave this world without her. The bond connecting their hearts would never let him do so.

But Gilbert had lost his voice.

So he did the only thing he could do to show her all the feelings rushing through him, and bent down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss.

This time he didn't object as Anne's hands fumbled on his green shirt. He even released her for one moment to shrug it off his shoulders.

He mimicked her movements and peeled her out of her brown coat. Since Anne's clothes didn't have any buttons on them, it should have been easier than with his. But there was this belt - wrapped tightly around her upper waist - his hands struggled with.

He groaned irritated against her mouth, which Anne answered with a giggle, before she reached down herself and undid the belt in one swift motion. Forgotten it fell down beside her coat.

Now it was Anne who started fiddling with the belt around his trousers - much more skilled then he had been - and soon she was rewarded by the clattering sound the buckle made hitting the floor.

Then she allowed her hands to travel upwards without haste, brushing his now bare chest all their way up, savouring the feeling of his muscular, warm body under her fingertips, before she encircled his neck once more and buried her fingers in his soft hair.

Gilbert's lips wandered down from her hot lips to her jaw, nibbling her ear, provoking a moan out of Anne. His mouth continued its journey down her neck, covering her skin with wet, exciting kisses all his way down, until he reached her collarbone.

Wanting, _needing_ to feel more of him, she let go of Gilbert and released herself out of her waist-length-jacket, then out of her grey-greenish blouse.

Now the only thing that was still separating his skin from hers was her cream corset. Gilbert breathed in the view before him and still couldn't believe that she was _really_ here. That they won this battle.

He leaned in, capturing her mouth again in a fierce dance while his hands travelled up and down her body, relishing the feeling of her soft skin under his fingertips.

The skin of a goddess. No... the skin of a nymph.

Anne's fingers boldly made their way down to his trousers, unbuttoning it with one single flick of her wrist, before travelling up again as their duty was fulfilled and the fabric glided down his legs.

Without letting go of her lips, Gilbert stepped out of his trousers and then resumed his journey once again, covering every inch of her delicate skin with ardent, longing kisses.

Anne moaned as his mouth reached past her collarbone and craned her head backwards to give his maddening lips better access, while she buried her fingers in his by now messy hair.

Without breaking the kiss, his hands found their way to her skirt and released her waist from its hold. His fingers followed her skirt as it slowly glided down her legs, his feathery touches shaking Anne to her very core.

As the fabric finally reached the floor, Gilbert didn't even give her the chance to step out of her garment. Instead he put his hands firmly under her bottom and lifted her easily up with his strong arms.

Intuitively she wrapped her legs around his waist for support, and both groaned simultaneously as the most sensitive parts of their bodies touched.

Only separated by the thin fabric of their undergarments, Anne could feel his arousal against her and tried to tighten her arms and legs around him even more, having the aching desire to unite their bodies completely.

Gilbert groaned ecstatically at her attempts, his yearning for her filling every fiber of his body, driving him crazy.

He couldn't wait any longer. He needed to make Anne his.

Carefully he carried her towards their bed, sidestepping the pile of clothes their love left behind.

Her lips travelled down his neck, leaving burning marks wherever she touched him. Gilbert sucked in his breath and slowly bent down to lay Anne upon their mattress.

As her back met the soft fabric of the white linen, Anne opened her eyes and stared right into Gil's. For some moments they just looked at each other, their eyes whispering vows of love with every beat of their hearts.

Then she cupped the back of his head to bring him down to her, kissing him yearningly.

Her corset felt like an enemy between them as their chests met. _Nothing_ should come between them anymore.

Gilbert slid his hand behind her back and tried to loosen the laces, but his fingers wouldn't listen to him. Him, who was far too occupied with her divine lips at that moment.

Anne raised herself slightly up, bringing him with her through their still connected lips, and removed her hands from her husband to unlace her garment with trembling fingers.

As it slid mere inches down and revealed even more of her creamy porcelain skin, Gilbert lost his patience and simply ripped it open, before tossing the disruptive element towards the floor.

A sound of astonishment left her lips against his. Anne wasn't used to him being so fiery, but she admittedly liked that she had such strong effects on her man.

His protective arms encircled her back and lifted her up so he could shift her body on their bed, giving them both more room. Then his knee moved on its own accord between her legs and Anne moaned in his mouth as it touched the apex of her thighs.

She had to catch her breath as his fingers brushed the sensitive skin of her breasts. Her impatient hands travelled down to his underpants, trying to pull them down. Gilbert let go of her to finish her attempt, and then moved up to her own silk garment and slowly released her from it.

Anne closed her eyes to intensify the feeling his silken fingers stirred on her skin, brushing her upper tights... her knees… her ankles, before they let go of her for one short moment to let the fabric fall down to the ground.

Gilbert used her temporary blindness to glory in the beauty lying underneath him. He felt just like he had on their wedding night all over again, not fully able to believe that she was really _his _and he was allowed to see her like this, and touch her where no one else would ever touch her.

Her eyes fluttered open when time became too long to her and she looked wondering at him.

"I love you…" he whispered and bent down to kiss the soft skin beside her belly button before crawling back towards her.

Anne caressed his face as he reached her, answering with a whisper of love of her own, and their lips joined once again, sending a thousand jolts through their bodies.

She encircled his muscular shoulders to bring Gilbert down to her, sighs escaping their preoccupied mouths when their bare chests touched.

He used his arms to prop himself up on the mattress and shifted his body above her slender waist so he was now straddling Anne.

She tightened her hold around him once more; giving him the unmistakable sign that she yearend to feel him even closer.

Gilbert caught her moan with his mouth as he slid into her, before he allowed his curious lips to explore her body all over again.

Pleasure was rushing through every fiber of her body and soul as she felt Gilbert moving inside of her. Anne dug her nails into his soft flesh and started moving as well in attempt to unite their bodies even deeper.

She met his thrusts with her own as they fell into their perfect rhythm, and their hips started a heated dance as old as mankind itself.

Gilbert removed one hand from the mattress without breaking his sucking kisses, and entwined his fingers with her trembling ones.

Tilting her head on the soft pillow to meet his lips with her longing ones, Anne suddenly let out an irritated groan.

Gilbert stopped his movements immediately and opened his eyes, breathing heavily, "D-did I hurt you?" he asked in a strained voice.

Her eyes fluttered open as well, needing a moment to regain her voice, "No… the pins in my hair…"

He let out a chuckle as he finally understood, "Oh", looking at her hair; strands falling out of their hold on every side.

"Wait."

He let go of her hand and she lifted her head up from their bed so he could reach her bun.

"How many?"

"Huh?" Anne asked absent-minded, her eyes too occupied with his handsome face, her body too lost in the sensation of Gil within her.

He tore his gaze off her auburn hair and met her eyes, his heart giving a jerk as he lost himself in her grey-green orbs. He leaned in to give her a fierce kiss while his impatient fingers removed the first pin.

"How many pins?" he asked against her lips, and groaned as her hips moved forward, seeking friction. "Anne, would you…"

"Three", she breathed before tasting his lips again, and Gilbert made haste to find the remaining two.

Forgotten they landed with a small clank on the wooden floor as his mouth travelled down the curve of her soft neck, sucking her delicate skin.

She buried her face into his shoulder and drew him even closer to her, pleasure tingling in her veins as their bodies fell into the fierce dance of love all over again.

Anne sighed against his warm skin and wondered how she even survived two years without Gilbert, and all those feelings only he was able to arouse in her.

"How did you become so good at this…" she gasped against his ear and started nibbling his skin, "…did you practice?"

She couldn't help but tease him even in an intimate moment like this. Deep down inside her, though, it was uncertainty and fear which awoke that question. Anne had heard quite many things about how the soldiers were kept in good spirits…

Gilbert let out a husky laugh against her neck, and let his lips wander upwards until they reached her ear to whisper, "Only in my dreams…" before he engulfed her mouth with his.

Over and over again their hips met in maddening movements, the pace of their rhythm increasing second by second, as were the beat of their hearts.

Their fingers entwined once more and both buried their faces in the warm crooks of the neck of each other, covering it with steamy kisses. The arousal was by now rushing through their veins like molten, boiling lava, setting their bodies on fire. More burning with every meeting of their hips. More tantalizing with each kiss.

Anne crossed her legs around his waist to intensify all their feelings as both were close to stumble over the edge. One last time he thrust down, one last time her hips answered his movements, before the world around them burst in squillions of lights and a firework of sensations shot through their veins, shaking both to their very core.

Gilbert collapsed upon her, chest pressed to chest, their hammering hearts talking to each other in a way only soul mates would understand.

Trying to catch his breath, he propped himself up to take his weight off her body, and met her sparkling green eyes. Her hands travelled up his chest, resting for some moments on his heavy pounding heart. Anne gave him a loving smile.

"Only for you", Gilbert whispered and leaned down to kiss her softly over and over again, while her fingers continued their journey up around his neck.

As they parted for air, Gilbert made attempt to roll off her, but Anne tightened her hold on him with her arms and entwined their legs.

"Please stay…"

A small whimper escaped her mouth simultaneously with a tear.

All her endured fears of losing him - every nightmare, every cry, every tear, every pain - rushing through her memory, as they were finally one after all those months.

Overwhelmed with love he watched the woman underneath him, brushing the tear tenderly away with his thumb, before his lips followed his fingers, tasting the salt.

He rolled over without letting go of her, so Anne was now on top of him, and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"I don't plan on leaving you ever again, my sweetest Anne."

"Do you promise?"

"I do."

"Do you _swear_?"

"I even swear."

"By what?"

He smiled, "By what do you want me to?"

She pondered a few seconds, "By what's most important to you."

"How can I swear by you when you're the person I shall swear to?"

She smiled against his skin, her fingers tracing invisible patterns on his chest.

"Then just stay…" she finally whispered.

"_I'll stay_." He entwined her restless fingers with his, kissing the top of her head.

"And you're not allowed to fall asleep."

"What?" Gilbert laughed.

"You have to keep me company."

"Are you planning to stay awake the whole night?"

Anne simply nodded against his chest.

"And why that?" he brushed a strand of hair off her cheek.

"I will not lose another second of you again, Gil", she replied wholeheartedly.

"You won't, Anne." He leaned in to tenderly kiss her forehead. "When you sleep in my arms, you will not lose _one single_ second with me. We can even meet in our dreams."

An impish grin started curling his lips, "…Unless you already have other engagements."

"Gilbert Blythe!" she couldn't help but chuckle as she covered his face with her hand to keep him from speaking further.

"Stop being so disrespectful towards your wife!"

He laughed and removed her hand, "Or what?" he asked in a husky voice before capturing her bold lips with his.

Gilbert hadn't intended to sleep tonight anyway.

He still had to count her newfound freckles.


End file.
